"Hear my prayer, O Lord; let not my soul faint under thy discipline, nor let me faint in confessing unto thee thy mercies, whereby thou hast saved me from all my most wicked ways till thou shouldst become sweet to me beyond all the allurements that I used to follow. Let me come to love thee wholly, and grasp thy hand with my whole heart that thou mayest deliver me from every temptation, even unto the last. And thus, O Lord, my King and my God, may all things useful that I learned as a boy now be offered in thy service--let it be that for thy service I now speak and write and reckon. For when I was learning vain things, thou didst impose thy discipline upon me: and thou hast forgiven me my sin of delighting in those vanities. In those studies I learned many a useful word, but these might have been learned in matters not so vain; and surely that is the safe way for youths to walk in."~St. Augustine's Confessions

Father, Forgive Me!

Redemption.

It amazes me over and over again how God redeems our past, our present, and even our future. Why does He do that? I have been hurt enough in life to know that forgiveness is rarely easy. Yet this awesome Being, this holy Deity, regularly forgives millions of people every second for the hurt they've inflicted on Him. Only God.

My heart is heavy with the amount of times I've begged for forgiveness and cried out, "Father, forgive me!" I grieve, for I know how easy it is to receive that forgiveness and then fall right back into trap He rescued me from. But oh! how I rejoice that His forgiveness is unlimited.

He refreshes and renews me, and like a good friend, constantly encourages me, always pushing me to new heights. There were things in my heart, dreams I held tightly, that I was afraid were lost forever, but my Redeemer lives indeed and He has redeemed that which was stolen from me. Every last thing.

I don't have answers to nearly anything. I don't know what the future holds. I don't even know where I'm living a month from now. I have doubts, worries, anxieties, fears, and a million questions. I struggle with trusting God for the next piece of the puzzle.

But here's something God revealed to me today:

There's no box to the puzzle. You can't look at the picture and put it together because some of the pieces are interchangeable. They all go together but they can go together in different ways. Whichever way the puzzle ends up being completed is going to be a beautiful picture worth framing and hanging on the wall because God Himself has put each piece in place.

He is patiently putting each piece of my life together.

Father, forgive me for ever doubting You.

1 comments:

Naomi said... / August 5, 2009 at 4:14 AM  

Do the comments work now? Anyone?