"Hear my prayer, O Lord; let not my soul faint under thy discipline, nor let me faint in confessing unto thee thy mercies, whereby thou hast saved me from all my most wicked ways till thou shouldst become sweet to me beyond all the allurements that I used to follow. Let me come to love thee wholly, and grasp thy hand with my whole heart that thou mayest deliver me from every temptation, even unto the last. And thus, O Lord, my King and my God, may all things useful that I learned as a boy now be offered in thy service--let it be that for thy service I now speak and write and reckon. For when I was learning vain things, thou didst impose thy discipline upon me: and thou hast forgiven me my sin of delighting in those vanities. In those studies I learned many a useful word, but these might have been learned in matters not so vain; and surely that is the safe way for youths to walk in."~St. Augustine's Confessions

God Lessons

Posted by Naomi / at 11:58 PM / /

God lessons are the best. And the worst. So absolutely painful, and yet so absolutely fulfilling. They truly have a contradictory relationship.

I am happy - if "happy" is the right term - to say that I have been learning lesson after lesson in God's school. I wish I could say I pass every test given, but I fear that I have failed quite a bit. Not to worry, though, as it is through the failures that I discover what I still need to learn.

It's interesting, isn't it, that God would love us so much to want to develop our character. We could just be mindless autobots worshiping Him incessantly. I'm so encouraged that He came to give us life and life more abundantly. We don't surrender our right to free will when we come into His fold; we align our free will with His perfect will and surrender the need to do it our way.

I battle the need to control daily. But I'm wondering if the solution to that is not "giving up control" like we are told constantly. I wonder if the solution is to....well, actually, I don't know. I was going to say something about controlling ourselves into a constant state of laying down control, if that makes sense. But perhaps the solution truly is to lay down control. Hmm...that was rambling and vague.

What I know to be true above all else is that I need grace, daily. By the second. Married to that truth is the truth that God is faithful. Consistently. And to that all I can say is, "Hallelujah." A simple word whispered, shouted, sung, spoken with the utmost awe and gratefulness.

Hallelujah that God is taking me on a journey of character development and nearing His perfection.

Hallelujah that God Himself is on this journey with me.

Hallelujah that His grace is faithful when I fall flat on my face...my knees....

Hallelujah that though I don't have solutions, He has promises. Promises faithfully kept.

Hallelujah that He provides companions on the journey.

Hallelujah that He is all I need - even more than I need character, solutions, control, etc, etc, etc.

Hallelujah that He is in the midst of my every moment, even when I don't "feel" Him.

Hallelujah that He is nothing like me and yet I am something like Him, and becoming more so every day.

Hallelujah for His mercy! Hallelujah for His grace! Hallelujah for His love!

Hallelujah.

Some of my favorite lyrics are below....they sum it all up for me. :)

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to

 

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